Manifesting Presence of the Holy Spirit

A Testimony of Change

I was deeply flawed of character most of my adult life. Even as a Spirit filled believer, I fell in sin in a terrible way. With deep thanks and praises to my Father, through revelation, confession and repentance, my life condition was changed to the core!

Most certainly I was on the fast track to the fires of hell. I was in a total nose dive, out of any form of control of myself, and the deadly crash was imminent. And the Lord, in His amazing mercy, no less than told me so directly.

One afternoon, God showed me a vision of myself wrapped in chains in my fiery hellish pit. I was saying in tears, over and over again, “No time to repent! No time to repent! NO TIME TO REPENT!” And the Lord told me my age in this vision. I knew my age to be six months to a year in the future. Father God was giving me time! But that time was coming quickly! “But, how Lord can I EVER confess to what I’ve done?!” He said, “Do it, you MUST,” still the same. Even so, I felt Gods amazing LOVE and even a sense of encouragement in that vision. He was loving me towards my confession! He was not angry!

And so a short time later, I confessed. And my confession was full, complete, truthful and to everyone whom my sin effected. I confessed to my wife, my children, my pastor, my friends, and each person, one at a time, and in most cases face to face. Nothing was withheld. Nothing was minimized! My repentance was raw, real and complete. My true confession and open repentance… it changed everything! As fast as I was heading for disaster is as fast as I flew right out of that pit of despair! And I know that my healing and deliverance required no less than total and complete transparency and heartfelt totally broken of self repentance! So what was, for a lifetime, was gone in an instant, a lifetime of lust and sin was broken in me. I saw myself in hell with no time to repent and within six months or a year. Praise the Lord, that was ten years ago! The penalty AND the sin… GONE! He set me free from sin AND its cost. Since then I’ve openly testified these events before many groups of people. From that day, the floodgates of Revival opened in our ministry in China. And for six years in Shanghai, God did great things to many key underground leaders of the Chinese “Church”Houses” that never would have happened had I not turned and repented! 

Why, as a Spirit filled Christian did I fall so badly? Many asked the question, how is it that someone who claims to love the Lord, can so flagrantly sin against the knowledge of God in their lives. Most would say, “You didn’t process your issues out of your life.” And, my answer is, OH I HAS TRIED TIME AND TIME AND TIME AGAIN!” 

I had no way out… that is until I was revealed to how God sees me in His eyes. Almost immediately after my repentance, God revealed into my spirit a key and CRITICAL truth I had been missing! I became revealed by the Spirit through the Word to who and what I REALLY am. On that day, everything changed, repentance ensued, and my sins melted away. And that which was otherwise impossible to brake simply dropped off. 

This is what the Lord showed me:

If I have been born again through faith in Christ, then I HAVE BEEN crucified with Christ… past tense! I can’t crucify what has already been crucified. Or better said, I can’t re-crucify what has already been crucified. Jesus went to the cross ONE TIME FOR ALL. Likewise, Jesus was never in a process of crucifixion! His crucifixion  process took 24 hours! And then it was forever finished! If we have been crucified, it is just as instant! And so when we first believed, we became crucified with Christ. He died, we died. He rose again, we rose again. It ALL happened, with all its realities and benefits, the moment we first believed! It was FINISHED, we can argue against this reality all we want, but it remains the TRUTH! It was FINISHED… when we first believed! I’m not becoming crucified, it is already complete. It’s not a process! What remains, therefore, is as easy as can be! We simply BELIEVE this spiritual truth. We declare this spiritual truth. We LIVE this spiritual truth. It becomes a simple issue of accepting the Word which says what I am. 

Here’s the KEY: There is POWER in what we choose to believe. Right or wrong, we empower what we choose to believe! If I believe in instant healing and deliverance (which is scriptural) it will be so. If I disagree with instant healing, believe healing is a process because it’s what I’ve witness in life, THAT will be so. We have a choice to believe or not believe, and we empower what we believe by that choice!  This is why scripture says that we live or die by faith! 

What then do we choose to believe of our identity in Christ? We must know! There is POWER to live a sinless and healed life, or power to wallow in the lesser lower sin or broken mental condition we choose to believe in. Therefore, it’s by GRACE THROUGH FAITH. God, sees our faith first in Kingdom truths, which THEN, AND THEN becomes the doorway for Grace to ensue! Thus, my faith makes way for what I believe, according to the revealed Word of God, to be so in the POWER OF HIS GRACE. 

Fleshly character becomes arrested by Grace through Faith. Faith starts it, Grace completes it! We live and die by faith! 

My failures of character were because I did not believe in who Christ made me to be. I did not accept what scripture says my identity in Christ Jesus is! I molded scripture to fit my thinking. I said, “We all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. I am nothing but a sinner saved by Grace. We are all defined by a broken sin condition. I’ll sin and sin again, and just live the lifestyle of repentance.” 

I had dug for myself a theological pit of despair in which it was all but impossible to walk in wholeness of Kingdom purpose and love! I went from problem to problem, trying every single churchy program to overcome. I was putting salve over deep wounds that would never heal! Thus, I gave sin ground, thinking its existence in my soul a natural part of my identity. I WAS EMPOWERING SIN THROUGH MY FLAWED ERRONEOUS BELEIF STRUCTURE. 

But when I saw my true identity, I became forever, AND INSTANTLY changed. Not perfect, but no longer full of myself. The pride of my conclusions gave way to the power of truth through humility and repentance. I AM a new man creation. Not becoming! Any notion of “a process” is to not believe in what Christ did for me. We come up with thousands of good sounding “theologies” regarding “the process of inner healing and deliverance.” And while the topical salve of man’s ideas and strategies have only appeased devils to silence, we think; “See! It works!” Devils hide laughing and mocking the church! We seem to be free until the next time we fall! Meanwhile the root issue remains unaddressed. The TRUTH IF WHO CHRIST MADE US TO BE. THE REALITY OF WHO THE CRUCIFIED SELF WAS! THE REALITY IF THE NEW MAN CREATION I NOW AM!

People fall and then fall again in sad disappointment when the ideas of man only cover deep issues with a salve. Church becomes this constant recurring in and out revolving door of people’s issues unresolved. The weight of people’s problems bogging down the true purpose of Church, which has always been to build up a healed delivered set free body of warriors full of the Holy Spirit who no longer even give a moment of time to past issues that formerly locked them down in despair and recurring failure. 

 Now I know my identity. Temptations flee instantly, they no longer have ground! They’re there, but they flee in an instant when I again declare, “THATS NOT WHO I AM!” I BELIEVE in what Jesus DID at the Cross for all! Now it’s easy to walk in a sinless selfless life. It’s easy to no longer dwell on the past! My character supernaturally changed, simply by my agreement with the Word and the Spirit 

I see a vision of a firm foundation upon which the Church can stand unshaken! The Cheif Cornerstone, Christ. And hundreds of blocks built firmly interconnected one to another, with one word printed upon each building block, “IDENTITY.” Arm in arm as a family. Unshakable. And no way for the devil to penetrate. A church uninterrupted by recurring breakdowns and divisions of truth! We move forward into our forward call, full of love, full of power and full of effectiveness. Our past no longer having any effect. 

Is that possible? That’s not even a question we should ask! 

HE DID IT!!! WE ARE!!! IT IS!!!